Religion, Linguistics and Politics: the Muslim Problem is an Aryan Problem…

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The ugliest church in the world: Kabul, Afghanistan

When you think of Islam, you generally think of the Mideast, and all things Arab.  Yet more than half of the total Muslim population lies to the east of the Shatt al-Arab, the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, and that line that separates Iraq from Iran, Arab from Aryan, them from us.  Huh?  Aryan?  Us? What gives?

Yes it’s probably no accident that the most problematic of Muslims are our own not-so-distant relatives.  You’ve heard of the Beverly Hillbillies, right?  But what about the Kandahar Killbillies?  Yes, it’s true: one of the peskiest terrorist problems in the world comes from our own relatives from the same original ‘hood out back on the steppes, on a different stairway to a different Heaven, even if exactly the same Semitic god…

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Street scene in Kabul 2014

Back-story: once upon a time, our forefathers and their relatives inhabited an area probably best described as north of the modern Mideast.  Well, we were nomadic peoples, herders and gatherers, no-bath stinkers and jack-leg tinkerers, equally adept with tools and weapons, and no stranger to the long winding road and wide open spaces…

So push led to shove and morning turned into night, so by the dawn of the Common Era, this little group of happy campers was spread from the Indian Ocean to the Atlantic, speaking languages ranging from Hindustani to Persian to Celtic to German to Greek to Latin—all related.  And if it’s mind-blowing to watch words spring to mind on the streets of Athens as you learn the Greek alphabet, it’s even more astounding to realize the number of these words that are also related to ancient Sanskrit, and modern Thai.

To be sure modern Thai—and Khmer and Indo-Malay—is a repository of ancient Sanskrit in the same way that modern English is a repository of ancient Latin and Greek, the result of ancient borrowings and influences from a totally unrelated language family (don’t snicker: it’s easier to find there than in modern Hindi).  My favorite Sanskrit word in Thai is also one of the most common, and also found in English: ‘eke’.

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War’s gotta’ have bling…

The word ‘Aryan’ is just another way of saying ‘Iran’.  I’m sure Hitler knew that.  The word ‘swastika’ in Thai means ‘hi’.  So the invading Aryans became the high-caste of India, and a$$holes everywhere else.  And now we know the problem.  They’re just like us—stubborn, racist, classist and selfish!  The Tajik language, a Persian dialect like Farsi of Iran and Dari of Afghanistan, is probably the best place to see something similar to the original.  Just leave out the Russian and the Arabic.

Tajik has more similarities to more other languages than any language I’ve ever studied, quite incredible.  Bonus: these are some of the nicest people in the world, too, and a shot less ‘fundamental’ than the weirdos in Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iran.  It doesn’t have to be that way, and the problem isn’t necessarily Islam.  It’s Indo-European!  They’re just like us…

…or maybe just the opposite, that is, but the same level of abstraction and love of extremes as given and inherent, an unwillingness to just let things be, to let life rest on its own laurels, boreal birches and sunny beeches, the same necessity to manipulate the magic for ultimate penetration and maximum effect, an unwillingness to just let humans be humans, plodding along incrementally, preferring instead an evolution by revolution, all or nothing, daring the devil and tempting fate.  This is what we Aryans do, Hell be damned, Afghanistan…

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