Meet-up Group Forming ASAP: Angst-Ridden Seniors Without Borders…

Don’t you just love the silver-haired ‘active older adults’ that populate ads for health insurance and Viagra (TM), they with the mile-wide smiles and wheat-straw hair, usually standing in a field of wheat itself, often in tennis shoes or hiking boots! There’s usually even a sunset (hint hint) imparting an other-wordly glow to these nothing-but-worldly faces, celebrating a life well-lived and ‘golden years’ well-deserved…

I mean: you can almost see the looks on the faces of their four kids and sixteen grand-kids, mathematically precise and evolutionarily predictable, all the major possibilities for DNA replication and re-combination well represented and accounting for most of the usual copying mistakes and single-letter deletions typical in biological existence on Planeta Tierra. But aren’t we assuming a lot and taking a bit for granted? What if they don’t have kids, or—God forbid—hair? Now that’s different…

I mean: what if I don’t want to stand in a field of wheat or spend the rest of my life touring the lower forty-eight in in a Winnebago or Airstream self-contained dream-mobile with all my customary wastes and acts of will all going down in their proper place in their proper time?

So why don’t they have ads for over-60 hotties and seniors’ sex clubs, and what about suicide hot-lines and student loans and credit applications? Huh? What? They do what? MILF means what? I thought that was the Moro Islamic Liberation Front!  

(So that explains why they keep asking me for money! I thought they looked strange for jihadis, but hey, strange is strange! Where have I been? Angst-ridden seniors unite! We’re tired of being taken for granted as over the hill and out to pasture. And we need better drugs, too just kidding)…

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