FaceBook 101 for Beginners, the HK version: Friends Please Read Carefully…

Like Me, Baby...

Like Me, Baby…

Likes: if you like a FaceBook post, or just want to piss on the tree to indicate you’ve been there, then firmly but gently click the ‘like’ button, indicated with a ‘thumbs up’ sign. That’s all you have to do. Like away, like all day, forget your house your spouse and your job, just sit there liking things to your heart’s content. We content providers will love you…

Share: now that is different. True, there’s a button there, very similar to the ‘like’ button, but it is in the form of an arrow, not a thumb. But there’s a bigger difference than that: it takes up space on my page, typically a large space, since most FB manipulators are much more ostentatious–and greedy with space–than I with my humble little blog here. This is especially important now, since the ‘share now’ option allows you one-click convenience, and FB’s own ads now take up half the available space…

Consider: so you should be judicious in your selection of shares, IMHO, since you’re basically telling me that you’ve got something for me better than what I could likely find otherwise. I subscribe to ‘Think Progress’, too, you know. So that’s really rather presumptuous of you, now, isn’t it? And you’re probably not going to add any content to it, either, are you? I wish you would, then I’d know what YOU think, not just some SEO wonk in Silicon Valley specializing in click-bait…

Bottom line: your unrelenting and uncontrolled ‘shares’ clog up my FB page to the point that I can barely keep in touch with that long-lost friend that I finally reconnected with after 30 years in another ‘Facebook Miracle.’ So, to keep my page free and flowing, if you share more than 5 times a day, then don’t wonder why you haven’t seen me in so long. It’s because I dumped your ass, or at least ‘hid’ you, so won’t appear on your posts, and you’re likely so busy with your own, that you never noticed mine anyway…

Exception: okay, if you want to share MY stuff, then I won’t count it against your daily allotment of five–okay ten, maximum, as long as at least one of them is mine…

Ma’ fac’ (‘as a matter of fact’, for future reference): why don’t you go ahead and share this post, right here, right now. I don’t think you will. Nobody ever shares my stuff, blah blah, yada yada…

Disclaimer: the preceding is only half-serious, at least half-serious if you’re an optimist… 🙂

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