The Big Crunch is not a candy bar.

The Big Crunch is the opposite of the Big Bang. Unless somebody can find an awful lot of dark matter with enough gravity to hold all this universe together, then neither eternal expansion nor a steady state is probably sustainable. In other words, “catch you on the rebound” might take on new meaning. Corpses will be removed from their graves and taken to funeral parlors to be prepared for birth. The light from distant stars will become blue-shifted. Babies will die and be buried in their mothers’ wombs in one section of the hospital as old people are brought to life in another. Of course some corpses will go straight from the funeral home to be born at home, while others will be taken from the hospital to unique locations where guns will suck the bullets out of them to effect their birth. The sun and the moon will both rise in the west and set in the east of course, and people will walk backwards. The interesting thing is that this will probably all seem perfectly natural, with logic simply unconsciously retro-fitted to match the new circumstances. Still some interesting questions remain. Whether you fly, walk, or drive, will you have no idea where you’ve been, but know exactly where you’re going and what will happen when you get there? Will sex still be enjoyable knowing that you’re going to be stressed afterwards? Will death be more enjoyable as a child? Logic is capable of explaining anything. Truth is another matter.

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