The praying mantis gives head like no other,


the hapless male giving new meaning to the term ‘self-sacrifice’. For those of you who don’t know, the female nibbles the male’s head off as a nutritional supplement, while it’s in the throes of orgasm and can hardly defend itself. This is one disadvantage of the missionary position. I once saw a show on BBC where a lady scientist was jerking off a pig. I feel better now. In case you don’t already know, they have penises that look like a corkscrew. Why Nature selected for that, God only knows. Anyway, the nice lady explained that the really runny liquid comes out first to have a head start for the prize Easter egg, while the viscosity thickens until finally the last portion is almost like wax, which plugs up the channel. That’s so that the sprinters don’t change their minds and back out. And that’s exactly the way it came out, she steadily pumping away on the poor creature’s forlorn member, he not complaining a bit. It was better than the horsie scene when Emanuelle went to America, which reminds one of just how bad porno movie-scripts can be. And that was the high-class porn, with a real story and everything. I never saw the donkey shows in TJ, so I can’t compare it with that.

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